Words can have multiple definitions and “Thirteenth Stepping” is NO EXCEPTION!
Sex in the 1st year: Thirteenth stepping originates from the 12 step program suggestion that you “avoid any changes in relationships in the first year of recovery if possible.”
This 12 step program suggestion has the label “thirteenth stepping” and gets repeated to every newcomer by almost everyone they meet. The rumored recommendation is; “No new relationships within the first year” or “No sex for the first year of recovery”. With so many people hearing so many different versions this is where all the confusion starts.
Thirteenth Stepping is the urban myth of recovery
In fact it is three urban myths in one!
Who is stepping who: Two members of a 12 step program being sexually attracted to each other or “thirteenth stepping” (being intimate with) each other. This is the most prevalent definition, the one bantered, talked about constantly and the one that everyone understands. Yet this is the definition that has eluded all other sites including Wikipedia and the like. It also happens to be the most widely recognized in daily talk.
Predator?: Predatory members of the fellowship taking advantage of vulnerable newcomers for sexual gratification. This narrowly defined version is rarely used in everyday chatter, except to warn every newcomer when they first arrive into a 12 step program. Yet strangely and surprisingly, it seems to be the ONLY definition that the public and the most ardent members in the 12 step programs believe exists.
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